Family Problems..

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Starving Always

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Jan 31, 2016
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I hate it so much... my family discourages me so much not to buy mantids/ooths. I had some money from this app and wanted to transfer it to the bank account, then paypal. I told them what I was planning on spending it on. my dad was super opposed of the idea. he wanted me to save up all my money and buy something that's "valuable".. he then said that mantids were unnecessary. it really hurt me thinking that they won't support me in what I do. my mom was okay with the idea, but she doesn't want me to go through all the risks and trouble. she really loves me for everything i am. I wish I wasn't so young (and cheap) and had the freedom to do anything I wish. I kinda understand that they're only caring for me, but that won't stop me from doing what I want to do. it's not right. anyone else agree?

 
Everyone has their scene... Whether it be raising mantids, watching NASCAR, or reading books. No body is perfect and no body makes perfect decisions. 

Material items are nothing of "value"... Life is.

 
This is a tough one. Being young and living under their roof means you have to abide by their rules. I do find it unfortunate when parents don't encourage their children to follow their interests, especially when it involves the natural world. We need more young people who are interested in nature. 

I would encourage you to follow your interests but not at the expense of creating family drama. Perhaps try to educate your parents on the critters you want to keep and explain why you find them interesting. Tell them you may one day intend to pursue a career in some natural science field and hobbies such as mantis keeping may help prepare you for a future career in that area. 

It may simply be that what you are interested in your parents have little to no knowledge of and therefore don't see the point. 

I may be what you consider an old man but I remember being young. While I was raised by a single father who had zero interest in anything I was interested in he didn't discourage me either but then again he didn't pay attention at all. If you need more advice or would like to talk in private feel free to PM me. 

 
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This is a tough one. Being young and living under their roof means you have to abide by their rules. I do find it unfortunate when parents don't encourage their children to follow their interests, especially when it involves the natural world. We need more young people who are interested in nature. 

I would encourage you to follow your interests but not at the expense of creating family drama. Perhaps try to educate your parents on the critters you want to keep and explain why you find them interesting. Tell them you may one day intend to pursue a career in some natural science field and hobbies such as mantis keeping may help prepare you for a future career in that area. 

It may simply be that what you are interested in your parents have little to no knowledge of and therefore don't see the point. 

I may be what you consider an old man but I remember being young. While I was raised by a single father who had zero interest in anything I was interested in he didn't discourage me either but then again he didn't pay attention at all. If you need more advice or would like to talk in private feel free to PM me. 
thanks! i doubt they'll understand what I'm dealing with since there has been so much going on with my family, esp my mom, and i don't want to pile another thing they have to worry about on them. thanks, ill keep in touch w/ you if anything happens. 

 
orchids, spiny flower, t. elegans, cryptic, ghosts, c. pictipennis, other colorful mantids (^:
Orchids and T. elegans are not recommended for beginners. 

Spiny's and cryptics are a little less tricky, but I wouldn't say they're beginner level mantises. Ghosts and creos are easy to take care of, but remember, you will need to buy flies (I spend between $13 - $60 on flies each month). Unless, of course, if you're able to catch feeder insects outside during the warmer months, but you would need to find a place far away from pesticides.

To start out, I recommend Hierodula's or Sphodromantises - they're big and hardy, and you can buy crickets from the pet store or raise your own roaches (in the long run, less expensive than buying flies).

Well I was a kid, my parents put lots of strict rules on what I could and couldn't buy, and I barely had any allowance, so it wasn't like I could buy much anyways. Mantises would've been a big no-no. Try to explain to them what raising mantises entails, or maybe show them some cool mantis videos to show them how mantises can be beautiful, cute, or even educational.

 
I don't think he is exactly a beginner, he mentioned he kept Orchids and a few other species before on his intro post. 
Oh ok, my bad, I must've missed that. 

@Starving Always, I really enjoyed reading your intro post! It's awesome that you've raised orchids and other mantises before. I hope your parents allow you to keep a couple mantsies again. :)

 
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Oh ok, my bad, I must've missed that. 

@Starving Always, I really enjoyed reading your intro post! It's awesome that you've raised orchids and other mantises before. I hope your parents allow you to keep a couple mantsies again. :)
thanks so much. it was a relief when the post was there cause i had to rewrite the whole thing several times  :pinch:  thanks!! and i definitely hope so!  :)

 
Orchids and T. elegans are not recommended for beginners. 

Spiny's and cryptics are a little less tricky, but I wouldn't say they're beginner level mantises. Ghosts and creos are easy to take care of, but remember, you will need to buy flies (I spend between $13 - $60 on flies each month). Unless, of course, if you're able to catch feeder insects outside during the warmer months, but you would need to find a place far away from pesticides.

To start out, I recommend Hierodula's or Sphodromantises - they're big and hardy, and you can buy crickets from the pet store or raise your own roaches (in the long run, less expensive than buying flies).

Well I was a kid, my parents put lots of strict rules on what I could and couldn't buy, and I barely had any allowance, so it wasn't like I could buy much anyways. Mantises would've been a big no-no. Try to explain to them what raising mantises entails, or maybe show them some cool mantis videos to show them how mantises can be beautiful, cute, or even educational.
thanks for all the info! ill definitely keep this in mind (^:

 
In my house it was the same way with me and reptiles. My mom didn't like it at all And thought most my snakes where demons. (Hispanic mom lol) my dad didn't mind them but he would alway back up my mom. They would discourage me to not get new reptiles and to sell or "make soups or my snakes"lol. It made me want to  give up my babies sometimes. But I just did my thing. Took care of my snakes and reptiles. Learned a lot about them through reptile forums and books.  Which showed them that I was passionate about what I was doing.

guess what I mean to say is if you really want to get in mantids and your sure it wont be a for now type thing. and they still let you buy and keep them even though they discourage it. Then just keep doing it and stick to it. And show them your accomplishments as they happen. Like the day you hatch your first ootheca from a female you mated :) They'll  see that it is something that excites you and makes you happy. After some time goes buy im sure theyll ease up on you 

 
In my house it was the same way with me and reptiles. My mom didn't like it at all And thought most my snakes where demons. (Hispanic mom lol) my dad didn't mind them but he would alway back up my mom. They would discourage me to not get new reptiles and to sell or "make soups or my snakes"lol. It made me want to  give up my babies sometimes. But I just did my thing. Took care of my snakes and reptiles. Learned a lot about them through reptile forums and books.  Which showed them that I was passionate about what I was doing.

guess what I mean to say is if you really want to get in mantids and your sure it wont be a for now type thing. and they still let you buy and keep them even though they discourage it. Then just keep doing it and stick to it. And show them your accomplishments as they happen. Like the day you hatch your first ootheca from a female you mated :) They'll  see that it is something that excites you and makes you happy. After some time goes buy im sure theyll ease up on you 
this made me smile so much cause it's so relatable!! LOL XD it's so great that you didnt quit on your reptiles. I planned on doing the same thing and showing them how passionate I am. I hope to follow your footsteps and definetley do that!! this what I exactly had in mind. glad it worked out just fine! :)

 

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