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My son emailed this to me, I didn't want to read it at first, but once I started I realized it was fun and truthful, see if you do what I did.

VERY [SIZE=18pt]INTERESTING[/SIZE][SIZE=18pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=18pt]S[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=18pt]TUFF [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" [/SIZE]


[SIZE=12pt]------------------------------------------- [/SIZE]Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:

Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:

61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

------------------------------------------------------------

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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-

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to
 
I certainly would not have even attempted to lick my elbow...

Well...I did really...i guess i thought i could.

 
Well, NORMAL people can't. ;) :lol:

Anways, I'm not anti-bush, but I have to say, it's pretty funny. Just don't take it personally. Also, some more chain messages I have:

The United States Postal Service has created a stamp

with a picture of President George W.Bush to honor

his presidential achievements. Unfortunately, the

stamp has not been sticking to the envelopes.

This has enraged the President, who has demanded a full

investigation into the matter. After a month of

testing, a special Presidential Commission has

reached the following findings:

1. The stamp itself is fine, no problem found in the

printing process.

2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.

3. People are just spitting on the wrong side.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. they are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up. You need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is Blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem Only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,

Don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're Fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

we meant the Other one

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done.

Not Both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during Commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it Will Be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask What's wrong, and you say "Nothing", We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

Expect an Answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is Fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Basketball, the Shotgun formation, or Golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round Is a shape!

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, we'll all have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that?

It's like camping.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs.

I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession."

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs.

I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession."

----------------------------------------------------------

How quick are your wits?

Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are

absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question,

but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only .

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .

Add another! 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000

Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right....

...Maybe.

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,

4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?

NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully

expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He just has to open his mouth and ask...

It's really very simple.... Like you!

 
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.

>His parents had tried everything.. Tutors, Mentors, flash cards,

>Special learning centers. In short, everything

>They could think of to help his math.

>

>Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled

>him iIn the local Catholic school. After the first day, little

>Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't

>even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and

>started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room

>and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She

>called him down

>to dinner.To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to

>his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the

>books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day,

>while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

>

>Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid

>it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great

>trepidation,his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little

>Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.

>

>She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it?

>Was it the nuns?"

>Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.

>"Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the

>structure, the

>uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?"

>

>Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of

>school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they

>weren't fooling around."

---------------------------------------------

This is creepy but amazing !

Think of a letter between

A and W.

Repeat it

out loud as

you scroll down.

Keep going . . .

Don't stop . . ..

Think of an

animal

that begins

with that letter.

Repeat it

out loud

as you

scroll down.

Think of

either a man's/woman's

name

that

begins

with the

last letter

in the

animals name

Almost

there........

Now

count out

the letters

in that name

on the fingers

of the hand

you are not

using to

scroll down.

Take the hand you

counted with

and hold it out

in front of you

at face level

.................

Look at your

palm

very closely

and

notice

the

lines

in

your

hand

.................

Do the lines

take the

form of the

first letter

in the

persons name?

.................

Of course not.......

Now smack

yourself in the head, get a life,

and

quit playing

stupid

e-mail games!

.................

Don't

tell the secret

to others,

just send them this e-mail!

Smile & have

a great Week!!!!

 

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