Krissim Klaw
Well-known member
This Valentine's Day the San Francisco Zoo is helping people get over their ex's with healing love powers of roaches and scorpions.
Adopt-an-Animal: Madagascar Hissing Cockroach
Nothing says "I've moved on" like adopting a giant cuddly cockroach in the name of your favorite ex. This Valentine's Day, if you care enough to send the very best, you'll choose our charming Madagascar Hissing Cockroach package. The Madagascar hissing cockroach is believed to be the only insect that can hiss. They are excellent climbers and can scale smooth glass, therefore popping up in the most unexpected locations. The hissing cockroach is one of the largest species of cockroach, reaching 2–4 inches at maturity, but as we all know, some cockroaches just never seem to grow up.
Your Adopt-an-Animal donation will be used to support these amazing insects and further the San Francisco Zoological Society’s mission to connect people to wildlife, inspire caring for nature, and advance conservation action. And with a little luck, this generous donation will release your bad love life karma so that you never have to encounter a cockroach again.
Adopt-an-Animal: Giant Hairy Scorpion
So the latest affair didn't work out and given your ex's record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It's no surprise, these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or "caves." Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding. Charming.
Your Adopt-a-Giant Hairy Scorpion donation will be used to support these mysterious invertebrates and further the San Francisco Zoological Society's mission to connect people to wildlife, inspire caring for nature, and advance conservation action. We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against future romantic stings. Let the healing begin.
If anyone is lacking an ex, feel free to use me as a stand in and send the adorable scorpion plushies and hissing cockroach packages my way. :tt1:
Adopt-an-Animal: Madagascar Hissing Cockroach
Nothing says "I've moved on" like adopting a giant cuddly cockroach in the name of your favorite ex. This Valentine's Day, if you care enough to send the very best, you'll choose our charming Madagascar Hissing Cockroach package. The Madagascar hissing cockroach is believed to be the only insect that can hiss. They are excellent climbers and can scale smooth glass, therefore popping up in the most unexpected locations. The hissing cockroach is one of the largest species of cockroach, reaching 2–4 inches at maturity, but as we all know, some cockroaches just never seem to grow up.
Your Adopt-an-Animal donation will be used to support these amazing insects and further the San Francisco Zoological Society’s mission to connect people to wildlife, inspire caring for nature, and advance conservation action. And with a little luck, this generous donation will release your bad love life karma so that you never have to encounter a cockroach again.
Adopt-an-Animal: Giant Hairy Scorpion
So the latest affair didn't work out and given your ex's record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It's no surprise, these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or "caves." Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding. Charming.
Your Adopt-a-Giant Hairy Scorpion donation will be used to support these mysterious invertebrates and further the San Francisco Zoological Society's mission to connect people to wildlife, inspire caring for nature, and advance conservation action. We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against future romantic stings. Let the healing begin.
If anyone is lacking an ex, feel free to use me as a stand in and send the adorable scorpion plushies and hissing cockroach packages my way. :tt1:
