Jokes and Puns (CLEAN)

[mantisfan101]

A place for all forum members to post their own jokes and puns. I'll start off with one of mine-

You can't tuna fish but you can play a bass. 

 

[Connor]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction...

 

[mantisfan101]

?

 

[Cole 78]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.

 

[Graceface]

Why are praying mantids so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs 'em!

 

[Prayingmantisqueen]

Hilarious 

Why are praying mantids so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs 'em!

 

[Prayingmantisqueen]

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

 

[Graceface]

Here's one for Veterans day:

What do soldiers do in the bathroom?

They do their duty!

 

[hysteresis]

@Graceface

*facepalm*

 

[hysteresis]

Oh lawd! @Prayingmantisqueen

 

[Prayingmantisqueen]

Oh lawd! @Prayingmantisqueen

Whats that 'sposed to mean?  

 

[Graceface]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is heavy, the other is a little lighter

 

[Prayingmantisqueen]

Here is a silly kids one.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side, dummy!

 

[Foxhill]

Why did 8 fall out with 7 ?......

Because 7 ate 9

 

[Prayingmantisqueen]

Why did 8 fall out with 7 ?......

Because 7 ate 9

Ha ha knew that one!

 

[Graceface]

It's hard to resist the temptation to post a hundred dad jokes, as I LOVE puns and dad jokes, but I will pace myself lol. 

What did one nut say to the other while he was chasing him?

Imma cashew!

 

[Graceface]

@Prayingmantisqueen Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

He was too chicken!!!

 

[Mantis Lady]

I can't remember any jokes, but yours make me smile.

 

[Prayingmantisqueen]

Here is a riddle to try on your friends:

(YOU) I can make you say black.

(FRIEND) No you can't.

(YOU) What is the colors of the American Flag?

(FRIEND) Uhh... red, white and blue.

(YOU) See! I told you I could make you say blue!

(FRIEND) No, you said you could make me say black.

(YOU) Ha ha! And I did! Errr...

Have fun!