Need an Honest Opinion

[agent A]

Okay so I've noticed on this forum I don't particularly get along with a couple of people. I want to make peace, but I need your help. I need to know what it is I do to annoy people here, so then I could change my behavior and start fresh with some people. So tell me here what it is that you want me to work on, because for me it is hard to change when I don't know what I need to change. I'm starting to figure out that continuosly talking to some people can annoy them, but that is only part of the problem. Please leave your opinion. Thanks!

 

[idolomantis]

I recommend 4 daylight basking blubs 100 watt and 4 infared 100 watt, keep infared on all the time

^Quit posting ###### like that.

You try answerr alot of questions about species you haven't even kept, that's my main complaint.

 

[PhilinYuma]

quote name='agent A' date='Jan 25 2010, 01:39 PM' post='124136']

Okay so I've noticed on this forum I don't particularly get along with a couple of people. I want to make peace, but I need your help. I need to know what it is I do to annoy people here, so then I could change my behavior and start fresh with some people. So tell me here what it is that you want me to work on, because for me it is hard to change when I don't know what I need to change. I'm starting to figure out that continuosly talking to some people can annoy them, but that is only part of the problem. Please leave your opinion. Thanks!

Alex: I spent the best years of my life caring for kids with a variety of problems that included yours. I have absolutely no intention of naming yr problem here and would expect an administrator to delete it if I did, but I imagine that you know by now, and with any luck are taking two kinds of med for it. Right now, there is no cure for yr problem and annoying as it is to many members and frustrating as it must be for you, you cannot eliminate the impulses that make you act as you do.What you can do is modify your behavior, and your question suggests that you are eager to do so. I am truly amazed; I am seriously impressed. Few children in yr position have any insight into their problem.

You need a formal behavior control program with lots of mirroring and reinforcement, but we shall have to make do with what we have.

First, be aware that you look on the world, particularly the way you relate with others, quite differently from most of us. That wont change, though meds can help, so you will learn how to "fake it". There is nothing wrong with that. An actor can "fake" being in love often more effectively than a person in love can portray (not experience) that emotion. O.K.:

1) Avoid repetative behavior. Do not send someone the same message three times in a row in as many minutes (or hours, for that matter!).

Try this. If you write or message someone. Don't message them again until they reply.

2) Restrict yr advice to what you know. Even if you think that you know something, look it up. For example, although you have kept firebelly toads and gave some excellent suggestions, it is simply not true that these toads are susceptible to their own poison and you will find nothing on Google to support such a belief.

If I see you forgetting point 2) on the forum, I shall mention it, simply to remind you.

Start out with this, Alex, and remember, no one here knows you, so we can't really be annoyed with you, only at yr behaviors. Change those and most folks will view you very differently.

I sincerely wish you the very best of luck with this project and will help you all I can.

 

[Rick]

Half your issues is that you're 13. We all think we know everything at that age.

Phil, everyone these days seems to think kids need medications for every little thing. I wonder why that is?

 

[agent A]

Half your issues is that you're 13. We all think we know everything at that age. Phil, everyone these days seems to think kids need medications for every little thing. I wonder why that is?

I agree 100%. And Phill, the thing about the toads and thier poison came from a care guide about that species, but I tend t omisread things the first time reading it :blink:

 

[Kruszakus]

Don't try to be buddy-buddy with people at all cost, especially when they seem to give you the impression of not wanting to deal with you - it all screams: "I need attention, badly". And each time you want to post something, ask yourself, is it really something relevant, or is it just you trying to get some more attention - because you come over as someone quite desperate for it already.

I know it seems harsh, but that's the way I feel about you, and I'm not the only one.

 

[beckyl92]

you are awesome. B)

 

[agent A]

Don't try to be buddy-buddy with people at all cost, especially when they seem to give you the impression of not wanting to deal with you - it all screams: "I need attention, badly". And each time you want to post something, ask yourself, is it really something relevant, or is it just you trying to get some more attention - because you come over as someone quite desperate for it already.I know it seems harsh, but that's the way I feel about you, and I'm not the only one.

I see what you mean.

 

[PhilinYuma]

Half your issues is that you're 13. We all think we know everything at that age. Phil, everyone these days seems to think kids need medications for every little thing. I wonder why that is?

From my own experience, Rick, I think that you are wrong. As a child (and still) I had moderate to severe ADD but it wasn't diagnosed back then and obviously there was no treatment, so I was told to "pull myself together and concentrate." Of course, I couldn't and regarded myself such a failure that i enlisted in the army with God knows what in mind. Alex's problem would be apparent in a few minutes to anyone with professional training, and if you believe that half his issues come from being 13, then you obviously have none. The idea of giving meds is to improve functioning and relieve psychic pain. They usually work to a greater or lesser degree. Do you also object to giving meds to kids with physical problems? Your bellittling psychiatric intervention to me is like my telling you the right way for U.S. infantry to utilize a choke point, not very helpful or instructive.

By telling the boy that he doesn't really have a problem that he won't grow out of, you told him what he wanted to hear and, I would guess, negated anything in my post that might have helped him. Why try and change when he will be better at, say, 15? And of course, he wont be. Not your finest hour, Rick.

Alex. You asked for help. I told you a way to get started. It is your choice whether you follow those suggestions or remain as you are. A tough choice for a kid of any age.

 

[agent A]

right. I do have some social issues I am working out here, my goal is to be a well liked and respected member here.

 

[3.1415926]

I had an argument with someone extremely afraid of muslims resulting with me posting very vague and exterme posts In things that annoy me. Next time I wont post anything when I am annoyed. Being annoyed makes me type in a very vague way making people not know what I am relly talking about. Plese dont lol me about overeacting to people extremely afraid of muslims.

 

[yeatzee]

I'd say, stop spamming everyone with irrelevant messages and seriously think before posting.

 

[Mantibama]

Alex,

I'm somewhat new so you haven't crossed me in anyway. I do notice the absurd amount of threads you start so probably toning down on that could be a great start. I don't know the circumstances behind how you've annoyed a large number of people on this forum and maybe the criticism is called for, but also I feel like you're ganged up on sometimes and I'm not sure if that's called for either. Regardless, it takes humility to ask for help and that's commendable, so good luck.

From my own experience, Rick, I think that you are wrong. As a child (and still) I had moderate to severe ADD but it wasn't diagnosed back then and obviously there was no treatment, so I was told to "pull myself together and concentrate." Of course, I couldn't and regarded myself such a failure that i enlisted in the army with God knows what in mind. Alex's problem would be apparent in a few minutes to anyone with professional training, and if you believe that half his issues come from being 13, then you obviously have none. The idea of giving meds is to improve functioning and relieve psychic pain. They usually work to a greater or lesser degree. Do you also object to giving meds to kids with physical problems? Your bellittling psychiatric intervention to me is like my telling you the right way for U.S. infantry to utilize a choke point, not very helpful or instructive.By telling the boy that he doesn't really have a problem that he won't grow out of, you told him what he wanted to hear and, I would guess, negated anything in my post that might have helped him. Why try and change when he will be better at, say, 15? And of course, he wont be. Not your finest hour, Rick.

Alex. You asked for help. I told you a way to get started. It is your choice whether you follow those suggestions or remain as you are. A tough choice for a kid of any age.

As part of generation Rx (that's what I am right?) I feel somewhat entitled to comment on how the prescription craze has both positively and negatively effected myself and my peers, but I may just be stating the obvious. Sorry I'm continuing to take the thread off subject, but I have strong feelings about this topic and feel it necessary to point out my view. I've noticed that in friends that sincerely have ADD/ADHD and use the medication, it really has a calming effect and it seems like the medicine is performing the way it's intended. However, at the age of 18, when I first read up on what adderall was I was absolutely convinced that it could benefit me because I didn't like paying attention. So I setup an appointment with a psychologist to get a recommendation for a prescription and easily produced a false positive for an ADD diagnosis (the test was stare at a screen and press a button every time you see a white circle). A couple of "this prescription doesn't work for me doc" visits later and I was prescribed a medication that is one methyl group away from methamphetamine. Did I need it? No. Did I start to abuse it? Yes. Did I start to get paranoid and blindly accuse friends of random things? Yes. Did I stop eating, lose a lot of weight and become malnourished? Yes. Was it a gateway into abusing others pharmaceuticals and associating with people that did so as well? Yes. My experience was a rough one and I had to leave college for a semester because of it. I couldn't be responsible with them and I believe pharmaceuticals are dangerous. It took a lot of growing up for me to get out of that stage and ultimately the only thing that stopped my behavior was my decision to do so. However, while I managed to stop, I also got to watch my best friend and two other friends have drug-related deaths, and a fourth end up in an insane asylum from a failed suicide attempt because she was strung out on drugs. the college scene is absolutely flooded with hollow shells of people that have to take a different colored pill for every hour in the day and prescriptions are a second form of currency. While I may agree that there is a potential benefit for people who really need the medications, I feel that it is currently too easy to get a child or teen a prescription and there is an overwhelmingly large amount of high school/college students that are engaging in extremely dangerous behavior because of it.

 

[Emile.Wilson]

I had an argument with someone extremely afraid of muslims resulting with me posting very vague and exterme posts In things that annoy me. Next time I wont post anything when I am annoyed. Being annoyed makes me type in a very vague way making people not know what I am relly talking about. Plese dont lol me about overeacting to people extremely afraid of muslims.

If that person who you had a argument with was me then lol.

And i thought it over, but really whats scary about Islamic radicalists? the Qu'ran teaches them how hard to beat their wives, and how boys are for pleasure and girls are for procreation, also the whole wanting to destroy america and trying to bomb planes is not even a threat, their last attempt was a fail I doubt they will ever try again. COME ON! open your damn eyes

 

[PhilinYuma]

Alex,I'm somewhat new so you haven't crossed me in anyway. I do notice the absurd amount of threads you start so probably toning down on that could be a great start. I don't know the circumstances behind how you've annoyed a large number of people on this forum and maybe the criticism is called for, but also I feel like you're ganged up on sometimes and I'm not sure if that's called for either. Regardless, it takes humility to ask for help and that's commendable, so good luck.

As part of generation Rx (that's what I am right?) I feel somewhat entitled to comment on how the prescription craze has both positively and negatively effected myself and my peers, but I may just be stating the obvious. Sorry I'm continuing to take the thread off subject, but I have strong feelings about this topic and feel it necessary to point out my view. I've noticed that in friends that sincerely have ADD/ADHD and use the medication, it really has a calming effect and it seems like the medicine is performing the way it's intended. However, at the age of 18, when I first read up on what adderall was I was absolutely convinced that it could benefit me because I didn't like paying attention. So I setup an appointment with a psychologist to get a recommendation for a prescription and easily produced a false positive for an ADD diagnosis (the test was stare at a screen and press a button every time you see a white circle). A couple of "this prescription doesn't work for me doc" visits later and I was prescribed a medication that is one methyl group away from methamphetamine. Did I need it? No. Did I start to abuse it? Yes. Did I start to get paranoid and blindly accuse friends of random things? Yes. Did I stop eating, lose a lot of weight and become malnourished? Yes. Was it a gateway into abusing others pharmaceuticals and associating with people that did so as well? Yes. My experience was a rough one and I had to leave college for a semester because of it. I couldn't be responsible with them and I believe pharmaceuticals are dangerous. It took a lot of growing up for me to get out of that stage and ultimately the only thing that stopped my behavior was my decision to do so. However, while I managed to stop, I also got to watch my best friend and two other friends have drug-related deaths, and a fourth end up in an insane asylum from a failed suicide attempt because she was strung out on drugs. the college scene is absolutely flooded with hollow shells of people that have to take a different colored pill for every hour in the day and prescriptions are a second form of currency. While I may agree that there is a potential benefit for people who really need the medications, I feel that it is currently too easy to get a child or teen a prescription and there is an overwhelmingly large amount of high school/college students that are engaging in extremely dangerous behavior because of it.

Well, I have good news for you Bryce. It is unusual, nation wide, for late teens (those under 18 of course, in most states at least, would need parental consent) to be able to lie and cheat themselves, as you did, onto a course of Adderill. The first medication of choice is nearly always methylphenidate (indeed, I used to have to talk to a physician with DCFS in Chicago to get my non-responding DCFS kids onto anything else), and most physicians will not start young adults over the age of 18 on psycho stimulants for ADD simply because they don't seem to work.

I also have good news for teenagers of college age who have good insurance and want to beome addicted to prescription amphetamines. Do as Bryce did, lie about your symptoms and cheat on the test if there is one, but be sure to tell the physician (a GP if possible) that you have a history of ADD and took Ritalin (don't say "methylphenidate"; act dumb) from the age of 11 -16 and then were started on Adderal. It worked so well that you graduated from HS, moved, and stopped taking it. Now, though, the signs and symptoms are back and you would like to start it again. If he asks about the dosage, say that you aren't sure, but that the caps were orange and white; that will get you on 25mgm spansules and you'll be addicted in no time. You can help things along by twisting open the capsule and dissolving the spansules in warm water and vinegar. Isn't this fun?

Something that you don't appear to understand, though, Bryce is that children and some adults with CP don't become addicted, don't get high, and again, in my experience, are frequently non compliant with their regimen, because the medication, for them , acts as a depressant rather than a stimulant. Also, the addictive power of the dexamphetamine and amphetamine salts in Adderill, is not, so far as I know, significantly different from methamphetamine; all are under Scedule II of the DDA (now DEA CPS, I think).

I am still not sure, though, why the fact that teens -- and adults -- will lie, cheat and steal in order to obtain drugs of addiction (and there's always yr friendly neighborhood dealer, if all else fails) should have anything to do with medicating children who are emotionally ill and where the medication has been proven to help.

Incidentally, I raised two boys in Chicago inner city schools until they were old enough to join the Service. Neither of them took drugs then or since. Not all parents, however caring and diligent, can guarantee that their kids will reach adulthood unscathed by drugs, but if they try hard, they have a fighting chance.

 

[PhilinYuma]

And i thought it over, but really whats scary about Islamic radicalists? the Qu'ran teaches them how hard to beat their wives, and how boys are for pleasure and girls are for procreation, also the whole wanting to destroy america and trying to bomb planes is not even a threat, their last attempt was a fail I doubt they will ever try again. COME ON! open your damn eyes

My goodness, Emil, did you think that spelling Koran, "Qu'ran" would give you some insight into its contents? It doesn't work that way. You've never laid your hands on the Koran, have you, let alone read it, let alone studied it? And that must be the reason that you put in sentiments about "boys for pleasure" that are not only not there, but are thoroughly condemned in both Surah 4:16 and in Surah 7:80-81. Have you ever read the bible? I personally reject its teaching, but you have to know what it says before you can reject it. The second passage from the Koran that I cited is paralleled very closely by the Torah at Leviticus 18:22; both allude to the story of Lot (ever hear of him)?

Had anyone with even the slightest pretension to scholarship or even good sense made the statement that you have here, I would have been seriously angry, since I have Muslim friends who are near and dear to me, but I imagine that you must be a young boy in the wilds of Canada with no one to teach you what's what. Do be careful about slandering the religion of others, though, or you may not grow up to learn better.

 

[Opivy]

Way to derail Phil...

 

[Mantibama]

Well, I have good news for you Bryce. It is unusual, nation wide, for late teens (those under 18 of course, in most states at least, would need parental consent) to be able to lie and cheat themselves, as you did, onto a course of Adderill. The first medication of choice is nearly always methylphenidate (indeed, I used to have to talk to a physician with DCFS in Chicago to get my non-responding DCFS kids onto anything else), and most physicians will not start young adults over the age of 18 on psycho stimulants for ADD simply because they don't seem to work.I also have good news for teenagers of college age who have good insurance and want to beome addicted to prescription amphetamines. Do as Bryce did, lie about your symptoms and cheat on the test if there is one, but be sure to tell the physician (a GP if possible) that you have a history of ADD and took Ritalin (don't say "methylphenidate"; act dumb) from the age of 11 -16 and then were started on Adderal. It worked so well that you graduated from HS, moved, and stopped taking it. Now, though, the signs and symptoms are back and you would like to start it again. If he asks about the dosage, say that you aren't sure, but that the caps were orange and white; that will get you on 25mgm spansules and you'll be addicted in no time. You can help things along by twisting open the capsule and dissolving the spansules in warm water and vinegar. Isn't this fun?

Something that you don't appear to understand, though, Bryce is that children and some adults with CP don't become addicted, don't get high, and again, in my experience, are frequently non compliant with their regimen, because the medication, for them , acts as a depressant rather than a stimulant. Also, the addictive power of the dexamphetamine and amphetamine salts in Adderill, is not, so far as I know, significantly different from methamphetamine; all are under Scedule II of the DDA (now DEA CPS, I think).

I am still not sure, though, why the fact that teens -- and adults -- will lie, cheat and steal in order to obtain drugs of addiction (and there's always yr friendly neighborhood dealer, if all else fails) should have anything to do with medicating children who are emotionally ill and where the medication has been proven to help.

Incidentally, I raised two boys in Chicago inner city schools until they were old enough to join the Service. Neither of them took drugs then or since. Not all parents, however caring and diligent, can guarantee that their kids will reach adulthood unscathed by drugs, but if they try hard, they have a fighting chance.

I said that yes I agree there is potential good that ADD medication can do and I even noted the calming effect I've witnessed in people that have a legitimate reason to take it, so I don't see it as a lack of understanding. My statement is more of a cautionary tale. If finding a suitable medication for your DCFS kids was a positive experience than I'm all the happier for you, Phil. The problem is there really isn't a good way to quantify deviations from normal neurochemical balance and I don't think the DSM-IV is the best tool for everyone in optimally diagnosing who needs powerful psychoactive substances. In college the diagnosed are the dealers and while it's absurd to make that an absolute statement I sincerely believe it's not far from the truth. Over-prescribing medication isn't going to do the younger generations any favors. Maybe my experiences in Alabama are a poor sample to base my opinion on because, well ya know, we're all inbred degenerate hillbillies , but it's what I honestly believe. How many parents have decided that their kid must have ADD because he/she doesn't make good grades? How easy can it be to get trapped into the train of thought where 'my performance is sub-par and therefore it must be due to some psychological disorder'? What hormone riddled teenager doesn't get distracted easily, have difficulty concentrating on one thing, be disorganized, etc? I matched those symptoms to a t as a teenager and I even improved my grades with the addition of adderall but in hindsight I've decided all I was lacking was perspective and motivation. While my earlier choice to take ADD medication resulted in some bad consequences I have managed to succeed with a change in perspective and motivation and I have the added benefit of no health risks (Not saying this is the case for everyone). Also, while I'm not well read on the subject, I wouldn't be surprised if there were some risk for negative long-term effects of ADD medication. I know that, in the case of my best friend, he initially was prescribed anti-anxiety drugs (I know not ADD, but relevant) at a young age, and, while he may have originally taken it in because some psychiatrist decided it would help, it ultimately resulted in his increased tolerance, abuse, and death. As you suggested to Alex, I think there is a lot to be said for learning techniques for behavioral modification and maybe in his case medication as well (I don't know much about his situation on here, in life, etc.), so I hope you don't feel I'm trying to discredit your statement and if you're referencing Alex as the kid that medication has proven to help than excuse my ignorance. I just feel that considering taking any medication should involve serious consideration and research because if a decision to take medication turns out to be bad then any initial benefit wasn't worth being a strung out addict or dead.

 

[Rick]

From my own experience, Rick, I think that you are wrong. As a child (and still) I had moderate to severe ADD but it wasn't diagnosed back then and obviously there was no treatment, so I was told to "pull myself together and concentrate." Of course, I couldn't and regarded myself such a failure that i enlisted in the army with God knows what in mind. Alex's problem would be apparent in a few minutes to anyone with professional training, and if you believe that half his issues come from being 13, then you obviously have none. The idea of giving meds is to improve functioning and relieve psychic pain. They usually work to a greater or lesser degree. Do you also object to giving meds to kids with physical problems? Your bellittling psychiatric intervention to me is like my telling you the right way for U.S. infantry to utilize a choke point, not very helpful or instructive.By telling the boy that he doesn't really have a problem that he won't grow out of, you told him what he wanted to hear and, I would guess, negated anything in my post that might have helped him. Why try and change when he will be better at, say, 15? And of course, he wont be. Not your finest hour, Rick.

Alex. You asked for help. I told you a way to get started. It is your choice whether you follow those suggestions or remain as you are. A tough choice for a kid of any age.

I hope you are not offended by what little I said Phil. I feel that people in general are overmedicated, children included. I don't think it is possible to "diagnose" someone based on internet postings.